14 Tips For Throwing a Legendary Outdoors Super Bowl Party

You don’t need a flatscreen or even a liv­ing room to throw the best damned Super Bowl par­ty ever. Here’s a roundup of every­thing you need to take your crew out to the lone­ly-on-big-game-day moun­tains for the one Super Bowl par­ty to rule them all.


POUR GIN FOR THE WIN

Noth­ing rewards sol­id 12th Man con­tri­bu­tion like Hen­drick­’s. And since haul­ing glass is for back­coun­try begin­ners, bring flasks. 

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AND BEERS FOR THE TEARS

Deflat­ed balls and deflat­ed egos: Load enough growlers with beer to help ’em wash down the taste of justice.

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GO INDESTRUCTIBLE

An out­doors Super Bowl par­ty is no place for fine Chi­na. Your drinkware must be tough enough to sus­tain out­raged smash­ings against ground and tree.

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BRING THE HOTTEST WIENERS

Beans and wee­nies should be served pip­ing hot. Bring a vac­u­um insu­lat­ed jar to retain heat for the dura­tion of the game and a hun­gover rec­on­cil­i­a­tion break­fast the next morning.

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KEEP IT COOL

Load with: 1 bag cheese, 2 bags assort­ed meats, 1 weird veg­an paste, 1 mas­sive tup­per­ware filled with 7 lay­er dip, enough gluten to kill an elephant. 

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TAKE ‘ER EASY

Jamaican jerk rice with chick­en, moth­er f—in’ chilli mac, beef stroganoff, hot apple cob­bler, huevos rancheros, and more. Serve it all with­out break­ing a sweat.

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PREVENT STABBINGS

Things heat up, eye-fork­ings hap­pen. With the near­est hos­pi­tal miles away, it’s best to nip poten­tial goug­ings in the bud by sup­ply­ing guests with harm­less sporks instead.

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SHUT THAT MUTT

Leav­ing your dog at home would be a crim­i­nal offense. But your friends might not see it that way—especially when that pup’s eye­balling all 7 lay­ers of their bean dip. Keep her occu­pied with a good toy.

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CUT THE CHEESE (LIKE A BOSS)

Show­ing off your tom­a­hawk prowess a few times per quar­ter helps remind fans on both sides of the field to keep things civil.

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TURN IT UP

Don’t make guests hud­dle around your smart­phone or emer­gency radio to hear the action. Blast that game until it echoes through the canyons so even that one friend who “just came for the hike” can’t escape it. 

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HANG AROUND

Ham­mocks are ide­al for chillax­in’, which is the best posi­tion for visu­al­iz­ing the action as you and your guests lis­ten to the big game over the radio. Bonus: Losers can weep them­selves to sleep in their ham­mocks like they’re wrapped up in mam­ma’s arms. 

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KEEP YOUR OWN GAME TIME

Altime­ter be damned! Sure it’s cool, but by fourth quar­ter, you won’t care how high you are. Use this elite instru­ment instead to keep game time.

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BE LOOSE WITH THE JUICE

There’s a time and a place for con­ser­va­tion; this is not it. Don’t turn the game off dur­ing com­mer­cials just to save power—for some, those will be the only bright side to the day.

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DISGUISE THEIR SHAME

The moun­tains have no remorse for tear-streaked faces and nei­ther should you. Bring enough shades for los­ing loy­al­ists to retain a shred of their dig­ni­ty after the slay­ing is complete.

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