Clymbers! It’s good to see you around these parts again. You’ll be happy you stopped by today because we’ve got some exciting news. As part of our constant effort to bring you sweet deals on products from the top brands in the industry, we are today, for the first time ever, featuring (drrrrrumroll please)… Mammut.
Did you hear that? MA-freaking-MMUT. That’s right. The mammoth is in the house and we’re gonna let it run wild and rough the place up a bit. We encourage you to tap into your primitive roots and take all you can carry. If you want the choicest bits you’d better act quickly though.
In other news, Zach in customer service crushed an apple with his bare hands yesterday. The internet had gone down, rendering us all useless for anything but spinning circles in our chairs, becoming more mischievous by the minute. Out of respect for the tech team, we decided to pass the time as professionally as possible—by competing with one another in a feat of strength. Zach’s was a heroic effort that earned him a round of applause from all but his jealous competitors, who instead of delicious apple, were left only with the sour taste of the inevitable truth: He’ll probably be promoted to an executive position within the month for this.
I digress. Here’s what we have on the docket today:
Mammut: Mammut is named for the mighty mammoths that roamed the Swiss countryside thousands of years ago. The company can trace its own history back to a not-so-imposing mom and pop ropeworks operation in a small town in Switzerland, where, in 1862, founder Kasper Tanner was given permission to use the public way outside his flat to braid and coil his own ropes. The rest, as they say, is history. Today, the company is a globally recognized leader in elite gear and apparel for mountaineering and outdoor pursuits. Click through to get mammoth-sized savings on Mammut technical apparel today at The Clymb.
Gibbon Slacklines: Just because you string a line between some boulders then try to walk across it people say you’re imbalanced. They couldn’t be more wrong. Whether you slack between trees or rocks, over grass or the open ocean, Gibbon has the line for you. New to the sport? The company also offers instructional media to help you get started. Summer is just around the corner so what are you waiting for? Today we’re offering members exclusive pricing on a large selection of Gibbon lines and DVDs.
Sterling Rope: Aaaarg! Don’t be surprised if hooking into a climbing rope by Sterling Rope compels you to shout out a few garbled lines of pirate gibberish. That’s because company founders cut their teeth making seaworthy ropes for use in the marine industry. When Sterling Rope made the transition to climbing and rescue products, it introduced rope that featured a core fiber with a moisture inhibitor built in—a technology previously only found in the marine industry—which made the rope safer. Shiver your timbers with Sterling Rope climbing accessories, available today at The Clymb for member-exclusive pricing.
Hi-Tec: Hi-Tec was founded in 1974 in the appropriately named village of Shoeburyness, in Essex, England. The company first put its name on the footwear map with a pair of lightweight athletic shoes designed for playing squash. The Hi-Tec Squash remains the best-selling sports shoe model in Britain to this day. The company has since branched out, building a reputation for itself as a maker of quality outdoor footwear and apparel. Today at The Clymb, we’re excited to be offering members exclusive pricing on some outdoor products from across the pond—with a huge selection of Men’s and Women’s Hi-Tec technical apparel. Don’t miss out.
Ahnu: When the founders of Ahnu set out to create environmentally conscious performance footwear that would make the outdoors more accessible and “a little less agro,” they found inspiration and a namesake in a helpful deity of yore: Anu, the Celtic goddess of the balance between wellbeing and prosperity. Ahnu does its patron proud by balancing fitness and fashion, performance and aesthetics, profit and philanthropy. Prosper and be well with Men’s and Women’s Ahnu footwear, available today at The Clymb for member-exclusive pricing.
PLUS… There’s still time to save on CamelBak, ProBar, Detours, Men’s & Women’s Running, Women’s Activewear, & Sunglasses.
Jurassic Lark: Did you know? The folks at Mammut may meet their business’s namesake within the next five years. In 2012, Russian academics signed a deal with controversial Korean scientist Hwang Woo-Suk to do what you’d imagine any league of post-Soviet geniuses would do if given access to a man of mad science—clone a mammoth. The effort began last year, when Russian researchers pulled cells from a woolly mammoth preserved in permafrost in Siberia. If all goes according to plan, Woo-Suk, who earned infamy in 2005 when he created the world’s first cloned dog, will implant the nucleus of a mammoth cell into an elephant egg to create a mammoth embryo. The embryo will then be implanted into an elephant’s womb. Whether or not the Russians have a James Bond-style plot to unleash the Mammoth to wreak havoc in New York City is yet to be determined.